


Say You'll Never Let Me Go

by theuselesslesbianvampire



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: AKA, Angst, Childhood Friends, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hidden Feelings, abuse mention, extra af, gay shit, high school buddies, if you will, lextra, overall unneeded amount of fluff, potential smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-06-01 18:31:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6531265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theuselesslesbianvampire/pseuds/theuselesslesbianvampire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla Karnstein and Laura Hollis have been best friends since they met at the age of four. They've been through their ups and downs, but they never left each other's sides. Ever. Both girls tell the other everything and anything, but they both have one giant secret that the other can never find out about. They've been able to keep their secrets for this long....that is until Carm gets a little too tipsy at a party one night and spills the beans to Laura. How will Laura react?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Chance Meeting

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Improbability of Me and You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4383080) by [TheMoiralOfTheStory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMoiralOfTheStory/pseuds/TheMoiralOfTheStory). 



> Please enjoy this. This is actually my first fic for this fandom. Let me know what you think. Also, Contact me on tumblr if you have any questions or suggestions for future chapters. 
> 
> theuselesslesbianvampire.tumblr.com

She was looking up at the slide, intimidated by how big it was. The older kids at the playground didn't seem to notice. But Laura did. It wasn't that she was scared to go on it, no. This is Laura Hollis we're talking about. She wasn't scared of anything.....except maybe spiders.

"Laura! C'mon, time to go home sweetie!"

She heard her father call out to her, but she was frozen in that spot. It wasn't until a little girl running full speed completely smacked into her that she moved.

Laura's father came rushing over, concerned for both girls. Neither of them were crying so he assumed everything was alright. He helped them up and addressed the other girl.

"Are you alright?" he asked in a calm and concerned tone. "You took quite a fall there. What were you running o fast from?"

The small, dark haired girl looked up at the man and exploded into tears. He was taken aback by the suddenness of it all and tired his best to calm the crying girl down. Laura didn't understand what was going on and decided to help her father try to comfort the poor girl for whom she had o idea what her name was.

"I got this, dad!" itty bitty Laura exclaimed in a really high pitched voice.

Her father held his hands up and backed away, "You work your magic, sweetie!"

Laura placed her hand on the other girls shoulder and before she could think, the crying girl attacked her with a hug, sobbing harder now. Laura quickly wrapped her arm around her, knowing that everyone needs a nice hug every once in a while.

When both girls pulled back from their long hug, Laura wasted no time in asking who the little girl was that just soaked her shirt in tears.

"Hey, are you feeling any better?" she asked. "What's your name?"

The dark haired girl looks at Laura and wipes at her eyes, sniffles, then lets out a tiny giggle. "I'm sorry i cried all over your shirt. I'm Carmilla by the way, but you can call me Carm if you want. That's what Mattie calls me."

"That's a weird name. But I like it. My name is Laura, but you can call me Laura."

Carm let out a loud laugh at Laura's attempt to joke with her.

An older girl, who Laura assumed to be Mattie came running over to Carm. She knelt down beside her and asked what had happened. Laura's father knelt down too and explained that they ran into each other and that theyre both fine.

"I'm okay, Mattie, really. Don't worry." Carm said as she picked herself up and brushed off the little bit of dirt that had collected on her shirt and shorts. Mattie checked that she was fine and went back to the swings where she originally was.

Laura glanced down and saw that there was a small trickle of blood forming on Carms right knee. She pointed at it, "Carm, I think you're bleeding!!"

That was apparently the wrong thing to say because the small girl burst into a fit of tears all over again. Laura didn't know what to do and looked at her father for help. The tall man looked down at his daughter and then to the crying girl and suddenly had an idea.

Hel knelt back down next to Carm and gently put his hand on her shoulder, "If it's okay with your mom, you are more than welcome to come over our house for some cookies. We can even watch one of your favourite shows if you'd like."

Carm seemed to lighten up at the mention of cookies and the biggest grin spread across her face, "REALLY?! DO YOU MEAN IT!!??"

"Of course I do. Just make please make sure you have--" and beffore he could even finish his sentence, the little girl had taken off like a speeding bullet. "--your mother's permission."

Laura felt herself become overwhelmed with happiness and excitement. This little gilr who she had only just met, by chance at that, was coming over her hopuse to have cookies with her. Laura definitely felt like she had just made a new friend. Her first friend she's ever had.

\---

Tiny Laura Hollis struggled to open the giant front door to her house, but when asked if she needed help she insisted that she was a big girl and that she could do it all by herself. She needed to make a good impression on Carm if she wanted to be best friends with her forever. Or at least that's what 4 year old Laura thought.

Carm waked in and immediately took off her shoes and set them neatly next to the now closed door. She then made her way slowly towards the couch in the living room and plopped down next to a waiting Laura.

"My dad went into the kitchen to get us some cookies. Whaddya wanna watch?"

She looked over and into the eyes of possibly the most curious girl she has ever seen. Carm may only be 4 years old, but she knows that this friendship is going to last a very long time.

Wait.

Friendship? Carm didn't even know if they were officially friends yet. I mean, She was happily welcomed into their home and they were so very nice to her even when she was crying so hard. Was Laura her friend now? She wated to ask but she wasn't sure she should.

Oh well. What's there to lose?

She answered the curious girl sitting so close to her, "Ya know, I'm fine with watching watever you wanna watch. I have a really REALLY important question for you, though."

Laura looked even more curious, which is something Car didn't think was even possible.

"What is it?" Laura pestered, desperately looking for an answer in Carm's facial expressions, but coming up short.

Carm hesitates for a moment but looks into Laura's bright eyes and she's met with a sudden burst of confidence. "Did you wanna be my best friend?"

Laura almost shrieks with joy and excitement, "OF COURSE I WANNA BE YOUR BEST FRIEND!!!!!"

Before she can even think, Carm is tackled in a hug. At first, it startles her. She's never been hugged like this before by someone else. After a moment, she wraps her arms arounf the tiny girl and decides that this is the best moment of her short short life.

By far.


	2. Delightfully Overprotective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flash forward to when Carm and Laura are in 4th grade. Laura is getting bullied by a rude girl in the the grade above her and Carm isn't going to let that happen. While others believe that Carm is being overprotective of her best friends, Laura thinks otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what you think of the chapter! I hope you enjoy it!!
> 
> I wanna try to update on a semi-regular basis, but I cannot guarantee anything. We all know how writers block works

It's close to the beginning of 4th grade year. Carm, who was now 9 years old, was walking down the hallway with the rest of her class when she heard the familiar voice of her best friend, Laura Hollis. She sounded like she was crying. 

Naturally, Carm ran to help her best friend, completely disregarding the calls from her teacher to get back in line. She just kept running as fast as her tiny legs could carry her until she finally made it to Laura.

She was right. She had been crying. Why she was crying wasn't quite clear, so she asked her as soon as she could catch her breath. 

"Laura," she said through small gasps of air. "what's wrong? I heard you crying. Did something happen?!"

"Pipsqueak here thought she could just go to class and NOT give me her lunch money."

Carm recognized that voice but she couldn't place the face of the person. Whoever it was, they were right behind her and when she turned around, she knew exactly who it was. 

Tall, thin, and with a head of flaming red hair. Danny Lawrence was the 5th grade bully. She thought she was the ruler of the school and she believed she owned everyone. Well, that was true with everyone who was scared of her, including tiny Laura. But not Carm. She may be a lot smaller that the giant amazon, but she was a fighter. 

She stood up as straight as she could and even puffed out her chest a little. Raising her voice so that everyone could hear, "DON'T YOU TOUCH MY BEST FRIEND!" 

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do, fangface?" Danny asked in a teasing mannor. 

This set Carm off. It was one thing to tease her on her size, but you make fun of her unusually sharp teeth? Crossing a line. Carm had had it. 

She grabbed the collar of the giant's shirt and brought her face close to hers, almost ripping the material of the shirt with her iron grip. She was yelling now and didn't care who could hear her, "LISTEN HERE XENA, YOU SEE THESE?!" Carm lifted up her shirt to expose dark purple bruises along her ribs and stomach. "DO YOU?! IT'S BECAUSE OF BULLIES LIKE YOU THAT I HAVE BRUISES LIKE THESE. IF YOU SO MUCH AS LOOK AT HER THE WRONG WAY AGAIN, YOU BETTER HOPE I DON'T GET TO YOU. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?!" 

There are tears in her eyes as she lets go of Danny's collar. She pulls the hem of her shirt back down and backs away from the tall girl, who at that point was almost in tears herself. She was nodding softly over and over again.

Satisfied, Carm took Laura's hand in hers and walked her to the office. All eyes were on her and she walked proudly with her best friend.

Laura's grip on Carm's hand never loosened, only tightened. 

\---

"You know, yhou didn't have to do that for me, Carm." Laura said.

"Laura," Carm said, disbelief in what Laura is telling her hidden in her tone. "the thing is, yes, I did have to do that. I didn't like the way she was treating you, Laura. How long has this been going on??"

"Since last year..." Laura said at barely a whisper. 

"SINCE LAST YEAR, LAURA?!" Carm exclaimed. "THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON SINCE LAST YEAR AND YOU'RE JUST NOW TELLING ME?!" 

Carm was not too thrilled that Laura had kept this from her. But then she got a look at Laura's face and her defense immediately dropped. The look on Laura's innocent face was pure defeat. 

"Laura, hey, it's okay. You don't have to worry about her anymore. I took care of it." She scooted closer to her and pulled her into a tight hug. Laura immediately hugged her back equally as tight. 

When they pulled away, Laura had a confused look on her face. That was never a good sign. 

Already expecting her question, Carm prepared herself for anything. 

"Carm.....where'd you get those bruises from?" 

"Hey, can we maybe not talk about it? It's kind of a sensitive subject for me." 

"Yeah, yeah sure. We will talk about it at one point though, right?"

"Of course." 

And with that, they turned on the TV and put on their favourite show. Laura eventually fell asleep next to Carm, as she always does. 

Carm turns off the TV and they sit there and nap for a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions on what you'd like to see from future chapters, please let me know in the comments or you are free to message me on my tumblr page: theuselesslesbianvampire
> 
> Again, I do hope you enjoyed this chapter!!!


	3. What's a Song Without a Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another quick flash forward to their freshman year of high school. here we're at homecoming and good god does Laura look good in that stupid dress. words are said and friends are made, but their relationship is still as strong as ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, hey guys. i apologise for the late update. im trying to get a few chapter written at a time before I update so that i have something to post 
> 
> ill also be (hopefully) posting on a more regular basis. if for any reason im not, assume my internet stopped working. (it does that a lot)  
>  I also apologise ahead of time for any spelling errors.

Carm was staring at herself in the mirror. Her palms are sweaty and she feels so nervous. Tonight was the night of her very first homecoming dance. 

And she's going with Laura. 

Neither of them had a date to the dance so they decided that going together would be the best bet. One last look in the mirror just to make sure that her bow-tie is on straight and she's out of the door and on her way towards Laura's house. Her nerves are making her walk funny, but she couldn't care less. She's just excited to see what Laura's gonna be wearing.

She turns the corner of Laura's street and she sees her house: 307 Chival Drive. She could never forget the house that she spent so much of her childhood at. In fact, she was there more than she was at her own house..........for reasons of course. Reasons we won't go into right now. 

Carm made her way up the stairs to the front door. The light goes on and she looks down to her feet. There's a few burn marks on the cement of the porch from where her and Laura set some of those snakes on fire. Laura always loved those ones the bet. Never the actual fireworks. Just the snakes. 

Right now is not the time to get all nostalgic, Carm. Knock on the damn door and prepare yourself for the tiny ball of energy.

She brings her hand up and lightly knocks on the door. Behind the door she can hear something metallic hit the floor, a soft 'shoot', and a quick shuffle of itty bitty feet before Laura is standing in front of her.

"Well don't you look like a virgin sacrifice."

Laura blushes, but then looks offended. "Shut up, you are tooooo!"

"I never said I wasn't, cutie."

Laura grabs her hand and pulls her into a tight hug, Carm's favourites. She's inside now and that's when she gets a good look at the dress that Laura's wearing. As much as she doesn't want to admit it, Carm can't help but think that if she wasn't gay before, she definitely is now. 

That's okay to say about your best friend, right? That she looks hot? She quickly shakes the thought from her head, deciding that she probably shouldn't be thinking about her best friend like that. 

There was a steady silence between the two of them. It wasn't uncomfortable though. They were both shamelessly checking each other out though. That is definitely not the right thing to do though. She knows that much for sure. 

They both quickly caught themselves and Laura turned, quickly shuffling her way into the kitchen to retrieve a pot that had fallen out of the cabinet. Car assumes thats what made the loud crashing noise before Laura had opened the door moments later.

She silently laughs to herself because Laura manages to be the cutest person alive 24/7 and Carm really has no idea how she can do that with such little effort. 

Apparently, though, her laugh wasn't as silent as she thought it was because she hears a low "shut up" come from the kitchen. She smiles because she knows Laura had heard her laugh at her. 

Carm pops a squat on the couch and waits for Laura to return to her. It doesn't take long until she sees the tiny human power shuffle her way back into the living room and on the couch next to her.

"What the hell were you doing in there that it took you that long and you dropped a pot on the floor."

A confused look crosses Laura's face before she just shrugs and says, "I don't know, honestly. I was just passing the time waiting for you to get here."

\---

Laura is dancing her heart out on the dance floor and she just wishes that Carm would come and join her instead of brooding over in the corner. 

"I'll come to the dance with you" she said, "I'll dance as much as you want" she said. Carm, you had one job. And you are currently failing at it.

With that in mind, Laura dorkily dances her way over to where the dark brooding child awaits. She doesnt look very happy and Laura's demeanor changes immediately.

"Carm, what's wrong?!" she asked hurriedly.

Without thinking Carm grabs her wrist and drags her in one direction. "Come with me" she hears her say.

At first, Laura didn't know where she was taking her. That was until they passed a set of corridors that Laura knows entirely way too well. Theyre headed to the girls locker room. 

Why the girls locker room? Why is Carm taking her there? None of this is making sense to her, but she knows that Carm must have a really good reason as to why shes doing this. Otherwise she wouldnt be doing it. 

They make it to the locker room door and surprisingly theyre unlocked. Carm practically pushed Laura inside and to her surprise once again, there wasnt a single person in the locker room besides now her and Carm. 

She still doesnt know why shes in here and Carm still hasnt told her. Although, it has only been a few short seconds, so she figures she'd better give her some time to sort everything out for herself.

Laura turns around to face Carm as soon as she hears the locker room door shut behind the both of them. As she makes eye contact with Carm, she glances down to see her slowly locking the door. A sudden wave of nervousness washes over her.

She looks back to Carms face and it looks as though shes debating something serious within her own thoughts. She wants to ask her whats going on but she knows that it's best to let Carm do it on her own time.

Five minutes have passed already and all thats come out of Carms mouth was a handful of lost thoughts and small whimpers of a shattered confidence. Laura couldn't take it anymore and wanted to know right then and there what was going on with her.

"Carm, whatever you need to say, just say it!" 

But it's not what Carm said, it's what she did. 

Two seconds ago they were sitting there silently staring at each other. Now, their lips were pressed tightly against each others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you did, give it a kudo/like/whatever. let me know what youd like to see form future chapters. dont forget that i have a tumblr where you can also contact me: theuselesslesbianvampire
> 
> i love you guys so much! thank you for reading


	4. All About Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I am very sorry for taking so long to update. Shit hit the fan and whatnot. BUT! I do hope you enjoy this chapter. Please let me know what you think!

*Carmilla's POV* 

What did you just do, Carmilla? You honestly had no intention to kiss Laura. It just happened, like something you can't explain. One moment you're looking at her like she's the most important being in the universe, the one that holds every secret. The next minute, you're kissing her. You're kissing her and you're not sure how you should be feeling. Sad? Happy? Angry? Confused? 

Yes. Confused. That's the one. You're confused. While your lips are pressed against hers, your best friend's lips, you're not moving. You keep as still as possible for fear of startling her. Suppose that's already happened now hasn't it? What's there to hold back now? You could go for it. Well, you've technically already went for it. What else is there to do? You could start moving your lips against hers the way you imagine she'd want you to. But you're not sure if she wants you to. She's not pulling away, as if she wants you just as much as you want her. She's also not making any further movements, hinting at the possibility that she doesn't want this. That all this was just a huge mistake. 

The thought of Laura completely rejecting you is terrifying enough without the notion that she hasn't moved forward or back. You're both just standing there, almost frozen in time. Like statues, but less breath taking. More.....awkward. 

You try to think back to how this all could have started. How you ended up in the girls locker room at your high school homecoming, kissing your best friend against the door. Possibly the least romantic way to have your first kiss. Of course when you finally pull away from her after what felt like centuries, when in reality it was a mere 30 seconds, you understand everything. Looking into her eyes, they're not worried, scared, or upset. The're not angry, rejecting, or negative. They're inviting and warm. They're longing and welcoming. They're just what you'd hoped you'd see. 

In her eyes you can see the very moment you started to develop something for her. The moment you knew everything was changing, and fast. 

The both of you were only aged 7 years. A young age to notice any romantic feelings you could possibly have for someone, and yet, there you were watching in awe as your best friend was showing you how effortlessly she could climb across the monkey bars. She reached the other end and hopped down as if she was a professional gymnast. So proud of herself for being able to swing across a whole 8 bars without dropping. She looked to you with just pride and amusement that you felt stuck in that one place. 

She looked at you as if the stars were made in your eyes and it felt as if nothing else mattered in the world but you and her in that exact moment. Rather grown up thoughts for a girl so young. One that has no concept of love or infatuation. Just the limited knowledge that this girl was something special to her and that she never wanted to let go of her. 

As you both grew up and started going through changes, you stayed closely linked with one another. "Never leaving each other's side" as they would say. But in your case it was true. There wasn't a day you two didn't spend without the other. Laura's father hadn't even paid it a second though. You assumed he was just an oblivious adult seeing you and Laura's relationship as nothing more that close friends. While that was very true, right now, in this very moment, the thought of you and Laura ever going back to the way things used to be seemed almost impossible. 

You have to say something. Anything to beak this silence lingering so heavily in the air between the two of you. It was almost suffocating. Laura is the first one to speak up, breaking the awkward silence. 

"Ummm..." she started. 

"Should we just-" 

"Yeah, yeah." she agreed, shaking her head. 

Exactly two steps. You're stepping backwards and it only takes two steps until you trip and fall flat on your ass. Smooth, Karnstein, smooth. You're lying there, cursing yourself for being such a clutz at the worst possible time. 

"Fucking shit!" you mutter under your breath. You fell a lot harder than you thought. That's definitely gonna leave a bruise. Oh well. You've had worse before. Bruises are nothing new to you. Really the only thing to pull you out of your trance right now is the concerned look on Laura's face as she's *trying* to help you to your feet. 

"Are you okay?!" Laura said, brushing loose hair from your face. God, she looks so beautiful right now. Oh my fuck, Carm. Snap out of it. 

"Yeah, I'm just fine." that was a lie. You're in so much pain you find it impossible to even breathe right now. But you would rather tell her you're fine and go the rest of the nice in excruciating pain than let her see you in such a weak state. 

"Good...because I wanted to, uh, do....this..."

"Wha-" you couldn't even finish your sentence before she had you backed up against the wall, fingers raking themselves through your hair, her lips claiming yours this time. 

At first you were in complete shock. Shock because your lips are once again pressed against each other's and also because you found where the bruise is. Damn that hurts. But who the fuck cares?? Laura Hollis just shoved you against the wall and is currently moving her lips against yours in a way you could've never known she knew how to. That's when you realize you haven't even moved. Laura seemed to have noticed as well because she pulls back. It's tragic really. Why did she have to end it? Oh, oh yeah. 

"Why aren't you moving?" She questions through little breaths. 

Instead of answering her you thought it'd be a hell of a lot nicer to just kiss her again. just kiss her and forget about the stabbing pain shooting down your back. You put on a little smirk and shake your head as your hand wraps around the back of her neck, pulling her into you so effortlessly. Her hands fly up to grip your arms so hard, you feel like there's gonna be bruises there to match the one on your butt. 

You decide that now seems like the perfect time to do a little experimenting with your tongue. Needless to say, the sound coming from Laura's throat was enough to keep you going. Well, that was until Laura's friend Perry walked in, dropping the cup of fruit punch onto the floor. The look on her face was nothing less that surprised mixed with shock and even more surprise. 

"Oh."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes? NO? idk

**Author's Note:**

> thank bless


End file.
